From the Deepest Pits of Hades
by Silently Screaming
Summary: Bella’s past affects everything for her. Edward keeps his emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Alice's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt and help each other in the long run? AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Let's clear the air with this. I do not own Twilight. The book and the time of day. But I do own a mean peanut butter bars recipe. **

**Summary: Bella's past affects everything in her daily routine. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt and help each other in the long run, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? AH/AH**

**A/N: Alright guys, this is my first fan fiction story, but I've been writing for… a long time. I'd like to thank my first beta, Leon McFrenchington. Without him, I would be an insane lady with an even more insane plot. Now, on with it!**

_**Chapter One**_

_**No I can't escape **_

_**(Stuck on you till' the end of time)**_

_**Your insipid rhyme**_

_**(I'm too tired to fight your rhyme)**_

_**When you shoot it deep**_

_**Straight into my mind**_

_**Failure - Stuck On You**_

_**[BPOV]**_

Fear, gripping my heart in its vile fingers, squeezed the quickly beating organ as the girl took another step. Then another. And another. The hollow noise of her feet landing on the polished, marble floor resounded through the long, well-lit hall. She turned to a door and twisted the oddly shaped, triangular door knob to the right while slowly pulling the door toward her. Sweat poured nervously down the blonde's face as her head peeked around the door to peer into the closet. As soon as the base of her neck could be seen, a chillingly white hand shot out from the darkness and captured her in his vice like grip. We never saw her again.

"I told her not to go into the closet, goddammit!" Alice screeched while angrily shoving syrup-covered kettle corn into her loud mouth. "Every horror movie has the exact same scene, but the only thing that was different in this one was the face that this chick was wearing an amazing dress that got _totally ruined_ by her blood! I told her not to go into the closet!" My roommate complained about the movie that her fiancé, Jasper, had rented us to watch on our Movie Friday. Every other Friday, one of us would rent a movie for the three of us to watch. This week, it was Jasper's turn, and of course he had to be a horror fan.

"Did I not tell her, Jasper?" Alice turned to him for an answer to her rhetorical question. I also looked over to see if the movie had affected his ever-present calm mood. It certainly had mine, and I was never as calm as he was.

What I saw made me snort with restricted laughter. Jasper had fallen back against a couch cushion, his eyes shut tight and his mouth open slightly. His long, curly blond hair crossed over his forehead, hiding the scar that started from his right ear and ran into his right eyebrow. I didn't know how he got it, but possessing the knowledge of how most scars originate, my curiosity was dampened a bit.

"Oh my God," Alice stated incredulously. "He made us watch that entire fucking thing and he falls asleep half way through it," she complained and turned her head toward the ceiling. "Why?" she asked while throwing her hands up in the air. "Why in God's name-"

"Alice, what's wrong?" I inquired with a roll of my boring, brown eyes. Alice always got melodramatic when something bad would happened. In our junior year of high school, when she bombed the Biology final, she told her mother, Esme, that she was running away. After Jasper and Alice's first date, he didn't kiss her and she told me that night that if he didn't kiss their on the next outing, she would go insane and either be committed, or elope with the first man she saw on the street. Alice informed him of this the day after, and he came over to our apartment very quickly.

"Oh Bella, it's horrible!" she cried, causing Jasper to flip over on the large, black leather couch and me to throw my hands up to cover my ears. Tears were begging to make their way down her perfect, alabaster cheeks as she moved over to the reclining chair I was sitting in and plopped down on my knees.

"What's horrible, Alice?" I questioned slowly, taking my hands away from my damaged-from-other-experiences eardrums, thinking that the worst was over. I had learned that if it was something bad, Alice only needed one shrill outcry to get it out of the way. If it was good, that was completely different.

"Bella, you know the dress that I was looking at in the Vera Wang store last week?" she asked me, mowing down on her lower lip like it was covered in caramel, chocolate chips, and cool-whip. Despite her troubled expression, I could see that she wanted me to say 'yes,' even if I had no clue what she was talking about; which I didn't.

"Yes, Alice," I lied badly as Alice raised her perfectly-plucked eyebrows. I had always been a bad liar. My strong blush would normally give the truth away, and if that didn't, my stammering certainly would. There was a period of time where I had perfected the art of lying, but then I met Alice. The girl came into my life and tore down my mental walls made of brick and mortar. She could tell anything about me from just one look, but mainly whether or not I was lying. I told her it was a good thing she was studying to be a psychologist.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, but anyways," Alice continued seeing right through my fabrication. She proceeded as if I had said nothing at all and she was talking to a plant. Unless it was something about shopping, make-overs, or fashion, she didn't really care about what you said in response.

"The dress was the most beautiful thing in the world," she gushed enthusiastically, the pitiful look that crossed her model-like features seconds before now long forgotten. When I had first met Alice five years ago, I was a sophomore in high school and thought she had a severe case of mood disorder. She would change her mood so frequently that it seemed she was always on her period.

"I went back today to see if it was still there, and _it was gone__,_" she said, putting emphasis on the last three words. She spoke in such a clear and concise manner, just like she was giving directions to Madeline and Anthony, her niece and nephew. With each passing second of silence between us, her blue eyes grew to an impossibly large circumference and Jasper's soft snores filled the air around us.

"Um, I'm sorry?" I didn't say it like a statement, but rather a question and Alice was growing more and more exasperated at my apathy. She drew in a quick breath and I could practically see her counting to ten in her head. That was always her coping mechanism when it came to my indifference to the things that went on in the bridal world.

"You don't get it, Bella! This dress was _amazing. _It was the most sophisticated and elegant thing in the world, but with the slightest touch of modern flare. And more importantly," she jumped off my lap and her feet landed on the floor with a graceful thud, "it fit me! It fit perfectly with no alterations, my four-eleven frame and size negative seventeen body, fantastically."

I was finally starting to realize the severity of the situation, not based on the characteristics the dress had, but because of Alice's reactions to someone buying the gown. Ever since Jasper had proposed one month ago, Alice had scoured every bridal shop within a one-hundred mile radius of the Seattle area, claiming that the perfect dress was out there. Claiming that she knew what it looked like; saying that she knew the soft kiss of the fabric as it sat "fabulously" on her hips. I frequently called her a psychotic psychic. I knew, though, that she didn't need a reality check or an asylum visit for saying the perfect dress was out there and she already knew exactly what it was like; she just needed her perfect dress.

"So after a semi-dramatic meltdown, I kindly asked the sales lady who bought the dress," Alice said like she had a plot to go up to the woman who had bought _her_ dress, steal it from her closet, and then cut the girl's wrists for committing such a heinous crime. Knowing Alice for as long as I had, she probably did have a scheme similar to that cooked up in her little crock-pot of a mind.

"And get this," she paused dramatically as if she was expecting me to be hanging on to her every word like a Trekkie at the new Star Trek movie. Maybe I should be. If not for Alice's sake, for my own. If she found out that I wasn't paying attention, I didn't want to know what would happen.

"_Jessica Stanley__,_" Alice spat like the name was venomous and not the girl. I didn't blame Alice, even though I had gotten over my issues with the gossiping court jester to Lauren Mallory's queen-Dom a long time ago. It was kind of difficult to hold a grudge over someone if you believed every single thing they had said about you.

A whore.

Hussy.

The school slut.

Then there were the insults that cut deeper.

Suicidal.

Statements like "why don't you make a noose and hang yourself already?" were spewed at me everyday as I tried to brave Forks High School with Alice as my one and only friend. The girl was a spitfire when vexed, but she couldn't make all the hurtful rumors go away.

No one could.

_**I know a girl**_

_**She puts the color inside of my world**_

_**But she's just like a maze**_

_**Where all of the walls all continually change**_

_**John Mayer - Daughters **_

_**[EPOV]**_

"Daddy?" I heard a tiny voice say from the doorway. I shot up in my bed, instantly worried about my two-year old daughter, Maddy. She was normally a sound sleeper, hardly waking up when her Disney Princess alarm clock would blare Taking Back Sunday's new album, "New Again," at top volume. Yes, my baby girl was a rocker.

The last time she had waken up in the middle of the night was two weeks after the accident. The hot-pink cast on her left arm was itchy, and she had a nightmare. I had come into her room to find my one-and-a-half year old daughter screaming, with tears running down her cheeks and beads of sweat rolling down her forehead. That was a sight no parent wanted to see on their child.

"What is it, baby? What's wrong?" I asked frantically. Quickly, I flipped on the light that sat on my bedside table to see my daughter. I squinted my eyes against the harsh glare of the hundred watt light bulb. Maddy was standing at my doorway, her curly blond ringlets hanging around her waist, her bangs pushed up in the front from hours of attempted sleep.

Her dark green eyes looked down at the floor. "I couldn't seep," she mumbled as her blood-shot eyes slowly traveled up to reach an exact copy of hers and my heart clenched. "I had nightmare in beginning, den I was 'fraid to go back seep."

"Is Tony up too?" I questioned about her twin brother, Anthony. Since he was my son and mainly took after me, I figured that he would be. As a teenager, and even more so as an adult, my sleeping habits were always askew.

"No," Maddy said as her tiny, tan feet padded over to my bed. She took my head between her tiny hands and squeezed my cheeks so my lips puckered like a fish. "Can I seep wif you, Daddy? I neber have nightmares when I'm wif you."

"Of course, baby. You can sleep with me," I told her in a comforting way and moved over in my bed to make room for my tiny daughter. "I'm sorry about your nightmare. Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked as she pulled back the navy blue comforter and slipped between the sheets.

I took in her disheveled appearance, wincing at the red scratches on her arms. Maddy had always been an active sleeper, often tossing and kicking her brother and me, depending on which bed she was in for the night. This nightmare must have been really bad for her to have angry, red lines crossing her upper arms. Right now, they were giving me more guilt than the scars.

"No Daddy, there's nofing you can do. I is sorry for making you as uncomferable as backing in to a hard-on from some faming homosecual," Maddy giggled at the statement, even though she didn't know what it meant. I hoped.

My mind was temporarily paralyzed as it quickly tried to catch up with my daughter's _supposedly_ squeaky clean mouth. "Where on _earth_ did you hear that saying, Maddy?" I tried to tone down my wrath for whoever had used this saying in front of my sweet, innocent baby girl.

"Auntie Ayice and her friend, Miss Bewwa," she said nonchalantly while trying to withhold a yawn. I could tell that Maddy was getting tired, so even though I wanted to talk about her insight into this matter, I knew I had to drop it. At least until the morning.

"Well, we will have to call Auntie Alice and Miss Bella tomorrow morning, won't we? I'm thinking that you don't know what that means, right?" I asked hopefully as my daughter pondered the definition of the statement. If she knew what I meant, I would have to sit down with my sister and her friend to talk about a filtration system.

"Nope," she informed me. Thank God the innocence of my one and only daughter had not been corrupted completely, although if this was what Maddy was saying after her once a week with her aunt, I would hate to hear the things Anthony was reciting. I swear, the boy was like a Mr. Clean, Magic Eraser; rub him against a surface - or rather, leave him with a corrupting influence for too long - and he would be marked permanently by whoever he was with.

"Good. Now let's get some sleep, sweetie." I clicked off the light as Maddy snuggled closer to me and prayed that our dreams would not be filled with "flaming homosexuals" with "raging hard-ons".

**Some people might be confused about the song choice for Bella's point of view. The song was to show that she couldn't escape the people who tore her down no matter where she is. So, how was it? Everything you ever dreamed of and more? Tell me what you thought in a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_Twilight, _****although my spaghetti recipe is pretty kick ass. -****_or so she thinks-_**

**Summary: Bella's past affects everything in her daily routine. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt and help each other in the long run, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? AU/AH **

**Author's note: Rest in Peace, Michael Jackson, Ed MacMahon, and Farrah Fawcett and the other person that died and I can't think of. **

**On another note, ****thank you for the reviews for the last chapter. It honestly doesn't matter to me how little or how much I get, I'll still write this story. Everything in here aside from Edward's POV and past has truth laced through it therefore, I want to get it out, I want to tell my story. **

_"__You don't remember me, but I remember you. _

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you,_

_but who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do."_

_Taking Over Me-Evanescence_

Tossing, turning, gasping for air and my fingers clenching around my sheets as images flashed behind my closed eyelids. They were almost like pictures. It was my mind reliving every story, lie, verbal slur, against me at a rapid pace. Finally settling on one moment in the past, I was deposited into a situation like an outside observer strolling by the kitchen window and cringing at what I saw.

Skin hitting skin.

Cries of pain, despair and anguish.

There were grunts of frustration as the brown haired girl did not cooperate that quickly turned into moans of pleasure as the teenage boy lying on top of her thrust himself into her. The girl pulled in agony as silent tears rolled down her bloodied face, and I suddenly realized that I was screaming and crying along with her; that the brown haired girl being so badly treated, beaten and battered was _me_.

"Bella!" I heard Alice call to me from the deep, dark pit I was dropped into by my equally deep and dark mind. "Bella, please wake up!" she cried again, but more frantically this time as the picture of the pitiable girl became less and less clear until I lost clarity all together.

I quickly shot out of bed like a racehorse in the Kentucky derby with a clear path to my bathroom. My best friend rushed in right before the door swung closed and quickly moved to my side to hold back my hair as my stomach's contents were emptied out in front of both of us.

As I stood up, Alice moved around me like any sudden movement would cause me to have a panic attack, even though it had been a month since the last one. I frantically moved over to the sink to grab the plastic cup and fill it with water to wash my mouth out with.

After brushing my teeth, gargling, and rinsing, I set the see-through plastic cup down and looked in the mirror slowly, scared of what I was to find. The last time this happened, I saw, felt, oozed like a festering sore everything that was _him._ His face, his scent, even his presence. Everything.

One quick glance and I knew everything was good. That was, until Alice for up from her spot on the now empty toilet and went to stand beside me. Instantly, I could feel the heat of his breath on the back of my neck and a shudder racked violently through my spine.

"Alice, I need control," I informed her desperately while trying to keep my gasping at a minimum. Another shudder ripped through my body as I tried to choke out. "I need it, Ally." I was craving the feeling of the sharp metal against my wrists. The feeling of control as the keen edge of the blade sliced across my sensitive skin.

"No Bella, no. Just try to slow your breathing down. I promised you that no matter_what_, I wouldn't let that happen again." Alice stood adamantly in her promise. Any other day, I would have been so thankful to her for this, but right now it felt as if my world would crash without it.

"Please Alice, just this once and never again?" I pleaded as she looked upon me with unwavering eyes. Alice didn't get it, and to be honest, I never wanted her to be able to comprehend it. She would never have the kind of dependency that I had on a solitary, inanimate object to help me gain control of a situation.

"No."

By now, my breathing had calmed down enough to be past the danger stage and I could see past my destructive desire. Alice and I locked eyes and a brief message was passed between us.

_I'm okay. _

_Again, I owe you. _

"You do not owe me anything, Bella. I am sure you would do the same thing for me if the circumstances were reversed." She looked at me with sympathetic eyes and a slight smile on her beautiful face.

I nodded to her unanswerable question and took in a couple of deep, calming breaths. "I'm fine now, Alice. You can go back to bed. I'm sure Jasper is missing you and wants to know what the hell is going on." A half-grin made its way onto my face and Alice mimicked my look, but hers had compassionate overtones.

"Do you know anything of Jazz's past, Bells?"

"No."

"Well, trust me when I tell you that he would understand about this. And in another light, the boy sleeps like a log. He could probably snooze through a nuclear blast." She rolled her eyes and as we got to my doorway, she gave me a soft, compassionate hug. "G'night Bella, love you."

"Night Alice. You too," I said a tad awkwardly. I'd always had a difficult time displaying my emotions. That was one of the many traits I got from my father, Charlie.

As Alice strolled sleepily back to her and Jasper's bedroom, I walked out to the kitchen to grab some water and a sleeping pill from the cabinet. Quickly popping the pill and gulping down some water along with it, I tried to scurry back to my room, but was halted by the darkness that filled the hallway.

Taking in a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and held out a hand to run across the painted walls of the short tunnel. This happened quite often, so I practically had this motion memorized. It was always going into my room though, that I had the most trouble.

Thankful that I left the light on, I stood in front of the doorway and looked in like a hushed observer. I tried to tell myself that everything was fine and there was absolutely nothing to fear in there, but it was not working that effectively. So, there I stood for a few more moments, before taking the plunge.

My well lit room was even brighter from the high-wattage light bulbs that Esme insisted on having put in. I tried to distract myself from the reasons for my nervousness and nightly routine by thinking of how much I loved the way my room was done.

Check behind the door.

A while ago - before the unwilling and terrible move to Forks - I saw the most amazing picture in a small crafts store in the heart of Phoenix. It was London, England in black and white, during the year of 1947.

Look underneath the bed.

Almost everything was in a mono print, but a cherry red, double-decker bus. I fell in love and bought it, despite the high cost of fifty-four, ninety-nine.

Peek into the closet.

After Alice and I moved from her parents' house and got an apartment on our own, Esme wanted to decorate my and Alice's rooms. For daedal Esme and her interior design, the sky was not the limit - she seemed to think you could go even higher and into oblivion - so, I decided to put her up to a challenge: design my room to fit that single picture.

Glance at the window seat and behind the curtain .

Esme went above and beyond my dare and the call of duty. Instead of having the picture put up on the wall or something like that, she had blown up the photograph so it would fit on all four of my walls. A window seat was carved into the east wall that faced the street and a curved window pane with multiple squares was put in.

With the rest of the room shades of black and white, I wanted a pop of color in one direct location. The base of the window seat where the mattress laid was made the same shade of cherry-red as the double-decker bus.

I guess by explaining this, I was trying to calm my imagination enough to be able to slide into bed and get back to sleep. Fortunately, it worked long enough for me to be catapulted into a fitful, yet restful slumber.

**[EPOV]**

"Some people fall in love after hearing a perosn's voice. Others, not so much."

-Author Unknown-

"Morning tiger," I called to my son as he walked sleepily down the steps that led to the kitchen.

"Mornin' dad," he said, rubbing his brown eyes to clear the sleep from them.

He and Maddy were twins, born six minutes apart, but if you just looked at their big features, they couldn't be more different. Maddy had strawberry blond hair and light green eyes. She took the majority of her physical traits from her mother, Tanya, but her personality was much more like mine. She was a lot more introverted and quiet, always letting the other person start the conversation, but once it began, she could hold up her end.

Anthony looked almost exactly like me. He was 'blessed' with the same disheveled hair and the face structure I had, although his eyes were a big brown color. Tanya had never known, or really cared, to find out where that came from; although I knew it came from my biological mother, Elizabeth Masen. Anthony's personality though, was much more like Tanya's. Their mother was outgoing, funny, and witty as hell. Although, he did get his sleeping habits from me, poor kid. Fortunately, these traits were passed down to our son. Maddy and Anthony were the perfect juxtaposition. I didn't think I could handle another child with the same traits as her, and the same went for Tony.

"Where is Maddy, dad?" Tony asked worriedly as he climbed up on the stainless-steel bar-stool and sat in front of me. Tony and Maddy had always been close, but after the accident and Maddy's disappearance and then reappearance, Tony had become more over-protective. If he was like this at two years old, I could not wait to see what he would be like when she started dating.

"Maddy slept in my bed last night. In fact, she may still be asleep."

"No," Maddy replied to my answer for Tony. "I not seep right now," she said, catching up with her voice by rounding the corner and walking into the kitchen.

"I tought you were gone 'gain, sissy," Anthony told her with a heartbreaking expression of remembrance on his face. I was almost positive that my face resembled his to a degree, recalling the feelings of despair and anguish.

"I sorry, Tony, for making you feel like that. I did not mean to." She looked down at the floor, upset that she stirred these feelings in Tony.

"Is okay, Maddy. You still here and that's all that matters." He hopped off the stool to comfort her and I quickly searched for a new topic to make all of us feel better.

"What do you guys want to do today? I have the entire day off, so you won't have to go to Aunt Alice's today," I told them happily, hoping that they were going to share my joy. My professors were more than happy to give me the day off. I hadn't taken a personal day from school or my teacher's assistant position since the week after the fire, which was almost six months ago.

"Are we going to caww Auntie Ayice about what I said las night?" Maddy questioned, taking her seat next to Tony. Her hair had been thrown back into a messy pony-tail that I was almost positive Alice or Rosalie had taught her to style like that, because I sure as hell hadn't.

"Thank you for reminding me, Madabee," I exclaimed appreciatively as I remembered last night. What she had said was something I had expected my adopted brother, Emmett, to teach her, and definitely not my sister, Alice.

Reaching across the counter for my cell phone, I dialed Alice's house phone, while getting down two glass bowls and a box of Count Chocula for the kids.

_Ring._

_Ring. _

"Alice, you can _not_ pour Mello Yello and Dr. Pepper onto your Fruit Loops! I don't care how good and delicious you say it tastes - no, I'm not going to try it!- that is disgusting and enough sugar to send you and three diabetics into a coma for a year. Oh, shit. Sorry, hello?" an angel's voice answered a few seconds after the click.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't have Tony or Maddy call you with you picking up the phone the way you did," I said a tad haughtily after getting over the way her voice appealed to me and after hearing her liberal use of foul language.

"You must be the asshole, Edward. Or as I like to call you, Assward. Let me tell you, it is a pleasure being able to finally hear your friendly voice," she quipped, letting me hear the nickname I hadn't heard since the bad attitude and grouchiness of becoming clean and sober went away.

"Question: do you always answer the phone like this, or is it just on Saturday mornings at ten A.M.?" I rebutted just to spite her.

"Answer: it's just for you, sharp-tongue, just for you. Question: are you meaning to be a fucking douche to the chick your sister rooms with, and the girl who lived in your adoptive parents house for a year and a half?" she answered and questioned hotheadedly, and I was impressed with her quick mind.

"Answer: it's just for you, swift-lips, just for you. So you're the Bella I've heard so much about. It's nice to finally be able to put a voice to the bad influence."

"So you're the Edward I've heard so little about. It's a wonder where your children get their manners from, because really, it certainly isn't from you. Oh wait, it must be from... nope not that person. Alice, it's one of your brothers." It sounded as if she had slammed the phone down on the table. No need to be immature, God.

"Hi Edward, or rather, Assward," Alice said ebulliently and I could hear her munching on her cereal.

"How did you know it was me, Ally? Last time I checked, Rose hadn't killed Emmett, yet," I probed and joked about Emmett and his bitchy wife, Rosalie.

"Well, Bella doesn't normally frown and storm away when Emmett calls and she picks up. She's usually laughing her ass off."

"Thanks, Alice. Make me feel real good about my wonderful sense of humor. Why don't you make me seem special for once in a while?" I reveled in our badinage for a little bit before Alice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Let me guess, you're calling to cancel the baby-sitting for today?" she said in what I thought had a happy undertone.

"Well, that and-"

"Good, your children miss you," she interrupted and reprimanded lightly.

"I know. I'll call you if I need anything, Ally-bird. Oh, and tell your friend it was a pleasure talking to her." I rolled my eyes and said the last part rather shortly.

"Wait, before you go, I'm throwing a bonfire tomorrow. Roasting weenies, marshmallows, singing campfire songs while Jasper plays 'old Betsey.' Ya know, the works. Be there and bring the kids. They provide comic relief and Bella loves them to death. She could probably use some cheering up. Show up or I'll have Emmett kick your ass. And then I'll join in. Then Bella. I'm sure she has some pent up anger stored just for you right now. Bye Edward."

"We'll be there. Bye Alice. Oh- wait!" She had clicked off the phone line right before I had the time to talk to her about what Maddy had said last night. I had a feeling she knew she was getting in trouble for something and hung up on me on purpose.

Oh well, Alice will be Alice and there was no stopping her.

**

* * *

**

**Hello again! The way I imagined the stairs part of Edward's kitchen, is the kitchen in the old TV show ****_Sister, Sister. _****Do y'all remember that show? I do. **

**Okay, two things to address. The second week in July, my fiancé and I are going up north to visit the fantastic adoptive parents. I'll be gone through the twenty-first, and I'll ****try to update before I go, but don't expect anything. **

**The other thing, is that Leon is amazing. I just had to get that out there. **

**What was the most interesting phone call you've had?**

**Read and Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Should I keep up with the recipes I own, or change it up a little bit? I do not own Twilight, but the harsh glare of the laptop computer does belong to me. **

**Summary: Bella's past affects everything in her daily routine. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt and help each other in the long run, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? AU/AH**

**Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting, anything else that you're doing, thank you. Oh, and thanks for the well wishes for the vacation. Things went great aside from a torn ligament from jumping on a trampoline and it was nice to see the family again. **

**Pertaining to the song choice for Bella in this chapter, I am not a country music fan, for which I am practically shunned in my community, but the song lyrics just fit so well. If for some reason you are interested in my taste in music, check out my profile page. **

**As always, mad love goes out to beta extraordinaire, Leon McFrenchington. **

"_**She's a broken lady, waiting to be mended,**_

_**Like a potter would mend a broken vase.**_

_**A broken lady waiting to be mended,**_

_**And have what's left of the pieces put back in place."**_

_**Larry Gatlin and the Gatlin Brothers-"Broken Lady"**_

**[BPOV]**

"Since when are we having a _bonfire_?' I hissed at Alice after she clicked off the phone with her asshole of a brother, Edward. Alice had been talking about getting a small group of friends together for a while, but I just figured it would be to see a movie or hanging out at the mall; something more Alice than a bonfire.

"Yes, Bella, a bonfire. I already have it okayed by the city of Seattle. Carlisle and Esme are coming by from Forks, and Emmett and Rose are dropping by too." She tried to reassure me by pulling out the 'people I've missed' card. I was a sucker for that and Alice knew it.

"Okay Ally, but do you have a place to have it? There's a lot more that goes into having a bonfire than the people going to it." I told her gently, hoping that she would not think I was trying to squash her plans.

"Like what, Bella? Ask me a question about this and I will answer it." Alice said confidently.

"Uh," I stuttered momentarily, "uhm like food. What are we going to have to eat? Well, more like, what is Emmett going to have to eat, because we both know that he could scarf down anything and everything we lay out on the table." I finished, feeling a little smug that I was able to propose and finish a question somewhat coherently.

Alice led me over to our double-door refrigerator and pulled open the door to the freezer. Ball Park Franks and Dearborn hotdogs shipped straight from Dearborn, Michigan filled the small meat hydrator. She gave me a look before taking me over to the pantry. We stood in front of the door before she proudly swung it open and swept a hand toward the back shelf. A minimum of five boxes of Graham crackers, three bags of large marshmallows, and one…two…three…seven large Hershey chocolate bars lined the small wooden plank. To the side of the necessary items, approximately fifteen suitable sticks for making smores hung on a nail, swinging back and forth, mocking me. She made a grand notion downwards. Looking at the floor, I noticed four two-liters of soda and tow twelve packs of Coke and Pepsi.

"Okay, so you have stuff to eat. But where are we going to have it? That's kind of important considering the fact that we live in a two-bedroom apartment complex." I said, trying to get over the crashing of pride that comes with being wrong.

"The cleared out plot of land around the corner from Jazzy's old apartment. The owner was selling it and, well," Alice squirmed like a child facing the evil- eye that all mothers had nailed.

"Well, _what,_ Alice?" I half-groaned. I think I knew what she did.

"Well, I kinda sorta bought it."

"You did what?! You bought five acres of land for _one bonfire?_"

"But Bella, five acres isn't that much! I mean, Emmett could probably take up half of it by himself!" Alice cracked a smile in her vain efforts to make me laugh and relieve the tensions in the air. "And I wouldn't have been able to get the land without buying it."

"Then you should have went somewhere else for a bonfire, Alice." I told her like a disapproving mother, before she brought out the puppy-dog eyes.

"Well, I was originally thinking of First Beach in La Push, but two things stopped me." She expectantly said, like she was waiting for me to ask her what had interfered.

I quirked an eyebrow as a sign for her to continue.

"One, what happened with Emmett there." She said with a reminiscing tone.

Five months before my eighteenth birthday, I went with Alice, her older brother Emmett, and our adoptive parents, Carlisle and Esme. The Quiliete Indians that lived on the reservation had recently put a short fence that ran around the perimeter of the beach. Alice and I had rode with Emmett, while Carlisle and Esme took their own car. Emmett was always eager to go swimming, or do anything else physical, gunned the engine to ninety and tried to come to a sliding stop next to the white picket fence, only to go crashing into it, ripping the entire fence up and almost going into the water.

Needless to say, the Elders of the tribe were not happy. Not at all. They said that we -well, rather, Emmett- could not step foot in La Push for as long as he lived, or the original Quilete spirits would haunt him and his family for "as long as they lived".

"What was the second reason?" I asked, trying to keep the smile off my face as I imagined Emmett's face when he saw what had happened to his precious Jeep, Bertha.

"Edward and his ex-fiancée were going to get married there." Alice looked at the floor as she muttered this, like she was saying something that she really shouldn't have.

I had known some of the story behind Edward and Tanya's relationship. She had cheated on him when Maddy and Anthony were younger, and then a few months later, after he found out, and they broke up, she turned up dead at her apartment. Edward was a suspect in the investigation for a while, but he was picking up Tony from his parents house, so he had a solid alibi for that night.

I heard that Maddy was there the night Tanya was killed, the poor girl.

"So you see why I had to buy the land, right? It wasn't that expensive," she said nonchalantly, and I knew that she was keeping the price from me for fear that I would over-react.

"How much was it, Alice?" I managed to grit out from between my clenched teeth. Alice winced at my harsh tone before drawing her lips into a line an looking from side to side in an extremely nervous manner.

"A little over three hundred dollars, but that's relatively cheap for five acres! And the man threw in a fire-pit!"

"But Alice, what are we going to use five acres for after this bonfire?"

"Well, I figured that we could sell the land after we use it for this."

"There's not really anything I can do about it now. I'm sorry for freaking out on you," I regretfully said with a blush spreading up my cheeks.

"It's fine, Bella. Honestly, that's the reason I didn't tell you in the first place." Alice took a bite of her relatively soggy cereal as if nothing had happened.

"Wait, what do you mean _in the first place_?" I asked. I could feel myself getting confused and testy again. I wasn't a confrontational girl at all, but if pushed too far, I could easily become one.

"Well, I bought the lot a couple of weeks ago," Alice replied, shrugging her tiny, easily breakable shoulders as if it was something as simple as forgetting to tell me rather than not telling me.

"Okay, I'm going to take a hint from your book, Alice and count to ten so I don't do something I regret."

Onetwothree

...

Seveneightnine

Only counting for six seconds helped me to see through my anger.

"Okay," I started, breathing out the air I had been holding in for what seemed like forever. "This thing is tomorrow. Is there anything else we need to do?"

As I finished my question, a very tired looking Jasper walked into the kitchen and plopped down at the table. Alice promptly pushed her coffee over in his direction, knowing that he would need it. She stood up from the table, grabbing her half-empty cereal bowl, dropping a kiss on Jasper's floppy blond hair and setting her breakfast in the sink.

I gave her a pointed look that said, "you know where to put that," and she rolled her eyes. As Alice rinsed out her bowl in the sink, I tried to figure out what had Jasper so tired and... un-morning person-ish this day and then I came to the realization that I must have woken him up with my nightmare last night.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, a bit of sleepiness lingering in his normally smooth - tinged with a southern accent-voice.

I decided to be frank and open about the disturbance. "Good morning, Jasper. I apologize if I woke you up last night. I can certainly tell you that it was not intentional."

Jasper gave me a smile that made me feel calm and told me that he could empathize with what I was going through. As I recalled Alice's words from last night, I realized that he probably could.

He leaned closer to the table and me as he took my tiny, frail hands in his large, rough from years of hard labor ones, and looked me in the eye. A small smile came upon his lips. "Bella, don't worry one bit. Besides, I'm a heavy sleeper, I've been told.''

His gaze turned away from me and to his insane fiancée who was snorting into her fourth cup of coffee.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jasper. You're the lightest sleeper I know," she said, an innocent glint in her eyes, a playful smirk sitting on her lips.

"Alice, honey, how many cups of coffee have you had?" he asked suspiciously, getting up from the chair and plucking the mug from Alice's jittery hands. He sniffed the cup curiously and I honestly didn't know what he was doing. Then, he reached an arm around her back and pulled out a Dr. Pepper can.

"It's not my fault!" Alice said frantically. She blushed a light pink color that only Jasper could make show up on her cheeks.

"Oh yeah? Then whose fault is it?" His face turned up into a wondering smile like he really did want to know whose fault it was.

"Bella's!" She pointed to me and Jasper chuckled while a baffled look came upon my face.

"How the hell are your sugar complexes my fault, Alice?" I asked, trying to fight back a laugh. This was so Alice.

"Because Bella, you wouldn't let me put the soda on my cereal, so I _had _to put it in my coffee! Jazzy, you know how I get if I don't have my daily allotment of caffeine."

"Yes, Ally, I do know how you get when you haven't had your caffeine, but that's why you - and the rest of America - have coffee in the morning. But the difference between you," he paused to tap her nose playfully, "and the rest of America, is that they don't normally spike their coffee with soda. If anything, it's alcohol."

"And they don't normally have four cups before eleven A.M.," I piped in just to see how much trouble I could get Alice into.

"Four?" Jasper said, half in horror and the other half in apprehension. "Alice, honey, you're going to be so tired by five o'clock this afternoon."

Yeah, great. We'd have to deal with her until then.

Alice poked her small head around Jasper's lanky frame to glare at me. I shrugged innocently just like Alice did in situations like this and bit back a smirk. This really may come back to bite me in the ass when it came time to pick out my maid of honor gown, but who cared? It was way to much fun to watch this in the meantime. To watch Alice and Jasper's badinage with a small smile on my face. It was nice to see this kind of happiness.

Just as soon as I thought that, a small pain began to grow in my chest. What the hell? I narrowed my eyes in concentration to forget about the dull thrumming of irritation that aligned itself perfectly with my heart beat, but it was difficult.

What the fuck was it, and why did it just spring up when I was watching Alice and Jasper? Suddenly, my mind stopped an picked up at a pace that was as fast as Lance Armstrong at the time trials for the Tour De France as I figured out the answer.

I wanted this.

Not necessarily the light and happy banter between the two lovebirds, but the driving force behind all of it.

Love.

I wanted to be loved. Not a familial kind of love, or a friendship, but the passionate kind of love that is almost sinful and should be illegal in all fifty states, Puerto Rico and Guam. The love that is impossible to run from and can pick up, mend and put back together all the pieces of a broken glass, no matter how shattered it was.

I wanted a love like Alice and Jasper's and Rosalie and Emmett's. Hell, even Carlisle and Esme's twenty plus years of marriage certainly seemed enviable to me.

I wanted a powerful kind of enchantment that tears away at your soul and adds a new, -unbreakable, yet still as fragile as a brand newborn baby- layer to it. I wanted a love like I saw between my parents up until my father's dying day. Up until the day I killed him.

**So, who wants to kill me right now? Say your death threats in a review, if you must! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but this ratty old notebook, the couch that I sit on, and the fiancé giving me a foot massage do belong to me. **

**Summary: Bella's past affects everything in her daily routine. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt and help each other in the long run, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? AH/AU**

**Author's Note: So, this chapter would have been posted with Bella's POV the last chapter, but to be honest with all of you fabulous people out there, it wasn't written all the way. Besides, it's good to change things up a bit, no? **

**Complete and eternal gratitude goes to the beta/God, Leon McFrenchington. **

"_**We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has even been spoken."**_

_**--Fydor Dostoevsky--**_

[EPOV]

"You guys want to go over to aunt Alice's tomorrow?" I asked hopefully as soon as Maddy and Tony were done with their cereal.

"Wiww Miss Bewwa be dere?" was Tony's immediate response after hopping down from his bar stool and putting his bowl in the sink.

I honestly did not comprehend their fascination with this young woman. After the phone conversation that I just had with her though, I could not understand anyone's interest in her. Whenever I would visit my parents, they would always talk about her likes and dislikes whenever the situation would arise. The way they spoke of her, it felt like I already knew her. Although, what was the situation with her living with Carlisle and Esme for a year and a half?

"Yes hon, Miss Bella will be there." When I told him this, his small cheeks lit up a bright pink color and a coy smile crossed his face.

"Tony, do you like miss Bella?" I asked suspiciously, a half-grin enveloping my face. I may not have liked her, but what kind of father would I be to deny a smile to my son's first crush?

"No." He looked down shyly, a smile still on his face.

"Yeah-huh!" Maddy shouted from the living room after turning on the television. We recently knocked half of the wall down so that I could see and hear what was going on better if I was in the kitchen and they were in the living room, or vice versa.

"What makes you say that, Madds?" I asked, coming out of the kitchen with Tony on my heels.

"Weww, he's ah-ways tawkin' 'bout her and dat kind of stuff," she mumbled as _Saved by the Bell_ came back on.

"Maddy, I didn't know you watched this show. I used to watch this when I was little."

"Scweech is my favowite."

I laughed lightly and turned my attention back to the television, hoping that some mind-numbing shows would get Bella's voice out of my head.

The day went on and on, and before I realized it, I was getting Tony and Maddy ready for bed and still trying to get her voice removed from my head.

-0-0-0-

Around eight o' clock, the next morning, I was awoken by a phone call from Emmett. It started out with a series of grunts, and then proceeded like this.

"So, you going to Alice's bonfire tonight?"

"Of course, Emmett. Alice would kill me if I didn't."

"Good. I know that Alice wants you to meet Bella, since you were gone when she moved in with us."

"What in the world are you guys talking about? I talked to her yesterday and she said the same thing."

"It's not my story to tell. She had a bad situation in her adopted parents' home and needed to get out of it. That's all I'm saying."

"Well, from what I gathered on the phone with her yesterday, she's a real doll."

"It seems like she's goaded your goat, and for that, I love her even more." Emmett chuckled into the phone.

I rolled my eyes. "What time does Alice want us over?" I asked, hoping that it wouldn't be so late that the kids would be tired half way through the bonfire.

"Around three."

I looked at the clock. It was eight thirty now and it was supposed to start at five. If Alice wanted us to get there early, that meant that we were going to be forced to set up. Fantastic.

"Alright, Em, I'll see you there."

"Bye Edward." Emmett clicked off the phone.

I quickly got changed out of my pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading downstairs to fix myself a cup of coffee.

Maddy and Tony woke up pretty early for a Sunday morning. The weekends I usually let them sleep in late, considering the fact that they were normally up at seven or eight, depending on the weekday. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, they went to Carlisle and Esme's house, so they had to be up at seven, because the trip from Seattle to Forks was much longer than the twenty minute drive to Alice's apartment, which they went to on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

I decided to ask them what they wanted to do today, and I got answers that I was not expecting. Normally, they would ask for ice cream, or a movie, but today, they asked if we could go and feed the ducks down at the pond on Inkster and Taylor. Naturally, I said yes.

After this little adventure, I remembered that I had a couple of errands to run, so we stopped to do a bit of grocery shopping and paid a couple of bills.

Lunch was served at Taco Bell, and eventually, we made it back to the house so we could grab some blankets and other stuff for the bonfire.

"You guys ready to go?" I asked, walking by their room.

"Yeah, but daddy?" Maddy asked, walking out of the bedroom and next to me with Tony trailing slightly behind.

"Yes, honey?" I tried to see over the pile of small quilts in my arms so I could look at Maddy as she asked her question.

"What's a bonfire?"

"Do you remember when we used to go camping?" I probed lightly, knowing that if she did, it would inevitably bring up memories of Tanya, and then she would remember that night.

She shook her head and picked up a flashlight that I had asked her to grab earlier.

"Well, a bonfire is a big outside fire that everyone sits around and roasts marshmallows and hot dogs. Sometimes, someone will even play the guitar and sing," I informed her, going based off of all the bonfires I had been to.

"But how does da fire stay stiww?" Tony asked after we were all in the Volvo and buckled properly.

"It's in a big, round pit that tries to prevent it from going anywhere," I told them, pulling out of the driveway.

"But what if dat doesn't work?" Maddy asked, truly perplexed.

"Then we all run away really fast while Emmett sprays everything with water." I heard giggling in the backseat as I finished my sentence and their imaginations created an image of Emmett doing this. That was about the extent of out conversation as we traveled the fifteen miles to the apartments.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed as I buzzed her apartment.

"I'm here, Alice, and I think Rose and Emmett are pulling into a spot as we speak," I said, peeking out the glass windows. Sure enough, Emmett and his wife of two years, Rosalie, were pulling into a parking spot in Emmett's ostentatious Jeep that looked almost exactly like the one he lost years previous.

"Well, how about you wait a minute and I buzz you all in together."

"Unca Emmy, put me down!" Maddy squealed.

I turned around quickly to make sure that my lug of a brother was not putting my daughter in any more harm than was always present around him.

My six foot four brother had scooped his niece up in his arms and had thrown her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, and was now spinning around the lobby, looking quite like a dog who was chasing his own tail.

"Emmett, put her down," the statuesque blond who was standing against the windows said.

Many people saw Rosalie as beautiful. I didn't. I mean, yes, she was pretty, but to me, it was a type of beauty that you saw everywhere these days. She was tall, had good proportions with long, blond hair and clear, pale skin. Her eyes were almond shaped and hazel. These were categories that would make a person beautiful any day of the week, yes, but it was also the fact that I saw Rose just like I saw Alice; purely a sister.

"Yeah, unca Emmy, put her down!" Tony exclaimed after being hugged by his aunt.

"Whatcha going to do, squirt, spray me with your juice box?" Emmett asked teasingly, while purposefully stumbling around.

Tony walked up to them and gave him the evil eye that I'm sure Emmett and I had given a few guys when Alice was growing up.

Emmett carefully lowered a very discombobulated Maddy onto the ground. She dizzily walked over to her Rose, who promptly picked her up and squeezed her like she hadn't seen her since birth.

I turned my attention back to the situation between Tony and Emmett. Looking down on the little monster, I saw a devilish grin on his face that he must have gotten from Alice. Emmett looked like he was holding back a laugh as Rosalie pushed the button to have Alice let us in. Tony reared back his tiny foot, and with all the strength he could muster in his two-year old muscles, kicked Emmett.

Emmett and everyone else's faces turned from ease to shock and Alick stood at the door with a look of apprehension on her face and the handles of a wheelchair in her hands.

"Can you guys move?" she asked quietly. "Edward, hold the door open as Jasper comes in. Emmett, can you take his keys?" she questioned nervously. Emmett and I nodded.

As soon as Emmett and I finished head-bobbing, Alice frantically commanded, "Edward, get the door!"

I rushed over to the door to immediately find Jasper carrying the most breathtakingly beautiful girl I had ever seen in his arms.

"Jasper, you can put me down now. Alice, for God's sake, I do not need a wheelchair. Are you guys listening to a word I'm saying? Oh, apparently not." She huffed as Jasper carefully set her in the chair.

When I heard this voice, I suddenly realized that this Aphrodite, was the same girl that I had gotten into a fight with on the phone. This gorgeous woman with the long, flowing brown hair and wonderful piano key colored skin, was Bella. The same girl that I had called swift-lips. Oh God.

The pictures at mom and dad's house did not do her justice.

"Miss Bewwa, what happened?" Anthony and Maddy bounded over to her and she winced as one of them brushed past her knee.

"It's nothing, sweethearts, just an old pain acting up again." She turned to me and as soon as her eyes rested upon mine, my world paused.

Her eyes. They were round like the Target symbol, but the color surrounding the pupil was the most vibrant, deep soulful brown I had ever seen.

"You must be, Edward Cullen," she said, making her voice as lifeless as possible.

"I am." I nodded and then focused on her slightly swelling knee. "Is everything alright with your knee?"

"Well, obviously not." Alice gave the wheel-chair a hard jerk and Bella's shoulders bounced against the top half of the seat. Bella winced and pushed herself up further, but rolled her eyes.

"It's just an old injury acting up. I fell on it in the store. It's nothing that I haven't done before." She blushed a beautiful, light pink when mentioning either her clumsiness, or her injury, as Alice rolled her into the elevator.

"You guys can take the next one. I have to talk to Bella about something," Alice said, daring us with her tone and eyes to challenge her of go against her order.

A playfully fearful look crossed Bella's face. "I'll see you guys later if I make it back alive," she yelled right as the elevator doors slid closed, making sure that whatever secretive conversation they were having in there stayed secretive.

Four hours, seven attempts of Emmett trying to jump over the fire, and a million times of washing Tony and Maddy's face from melted chocolate and marshmallows went by. I stood by the bonfire, trying not to set my second s'more aflame, wondering what could have made Alice so serious earlier today.

Whatever it was, Bella was greatly affected by it, no matter how much she pretended not to be. I knew because I was an expert at trying to make things seem normal and perfect.

It seemed that the subject had really gotten to her. Every time when she thought no one was looking, she would take in a big breath of air, bring her trembling hands up to her face, and scrunch her eyes together. It was like she was trying to hold back tears.

I felt this strange urge - well, rather, a need - to go over and comfort her. To tell her that whatever was going on, it would be okay and everything would work out in the end, even though I had no idea if any of that was true.

Finally, I got fed up of just standing around. I needed to go and talk to her, but I knew that we couldn't have a decent conversation until I apologized for what I had said to her on the phone yesterday.

"Hi Bella, how are you this evening?" I asked, sitting down in the lawn chair next to her.

She slowly turned her head toward me, and I know it sounds fucking girly, but it felt like my heart skipped a beat when her mahogany-colored eyes rested upon mine.

"Wonderful, Edward, how about yourself?" she questioned, even though it sounded like she really didn't care to know the answer to the question she posed.

Though, who could blame her? I had been a complete jerk to her the day before, and I wouldn't blame her if she kneed me "where the sun don't shine" and then ran away.

"I'm not too bad, but I need to apologize for the phone conversation we had yesterday. I shouldn't have talked to you like that. No one should have," I finished and let my eyes quickly shoot down her body, truly taking in her appearance for the first time.

It was the middle of March, warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt, but still cool enough for a bonfire. Bella was wearing a pair of shorts that stopped mid-thigh and a short-sleeved shirt that said "Are you sure you want to do that?" in white bold letters.

Bella turned to look at me, her hair brushing past the left side of her face to reveal a long scar, starting at her earlobe and ending at her chin. How could I have missed that before? As soon as she moved the rest of her body, her shorts slid up on her legs a bit, showing the beginning of a series of red and white, beaded lines that I'm sure were scars. '_What happened to you, Bella?_'

"What do you mean by that?" she asked shortly, strangely angered by my apology.

"Just what I said," I told her cautiously, afraid to incur the wrath of a woman that seemed to think she was scorned. "Did you not hear what I said, or-"

"No, I heard what you said, Edward. I'm not deaf. But what do you mean, no one should have? How much do you know about me?" she demanded an answer, her beautiful eyes narrowing.

"Just what I've been told by my family. Why, am I _supposed_ to know something in particular that I don't?"

"Well, considering the fact that I just met you today, you're not _supposed _to know my deepest, darkest secrets."

"It's a good thing that I do-"

"Edward! Bella!" my mother's sweet and cheerful voice interrupted mine, which was growing more and more harsh.

Bella glared at me for a second longer before turning to Esme and giving her a hug, which Esme eagerly returned.

"How are you,dear?" Esme asked, looking concerned.

"I've been better, but we can talk about that later. How are you?" she questioned, her previous attitude changed completely.

"I'm great, Bella, but I'll be even better once I see my grandchildren. Where are they, Edward?" Esme questioned curiously.

"What do you mean, where are they? Last time I checked, they were with Jasper, learning how to make s'mores." I quickly turned around to look at my son and daughter with their soon-to-be uncle, but I didn't see them there.

As cars from the main road passed all around us, my eyes scoured every possible place for them. Nothing. They were nowhere.

"Maddy! Tony!"

**What's your greatest bonfire experience? **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn. I would like to own Jacob, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward, but I don't think that's going to happen any time soon, so I'll just have to settle for owning realistic things. Like my new fat clothes. They say maternity, but I'm not convinced. **

**Summary: Bella's past affects everything in her daily routine. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden better for the sake of his two children. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear, and guilt for each other, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? AU/AH**

**Author's note: This chapter goes out to: poisonedbirth, for being such an amazing chick, MysticIce24, for being so fabulous with all the legal help that will come in the next few chapters, and last but _certainly_ not least, my beta, Lady Draco Violet, for being such a cool chick. **

**Oh, and Mr. Silently Screaming for not murdering me when he finds me up at two a.m. on fanfiction. Thanks babe! **

**Commence with the story-ing! **

**[BPOV]**

"Tony!? Maddy!?" Edward shouted loudly and clearly. It had been approximately twenty minutes since Edward had first shouted their names and by now, everyone was worried.

Esme, of course, thought it would be a good idea if we all split into search groups to find the kids before they found the main road. All nine of us paired up into groups of two, but because of the odd number of people there, one person had to go alone. It ended up being me.

Stumbling around in the darkness and over-grown weeds, I thought over my "conversation" with Edward. Maybe he really was trying to apologize. And if he really was apologizing, maybe it really was just for his rudeness yesterday morning, and not for all that had happened to me. Maybe-

"Hi, miss Bewwa." A little voice whispered from beside me while I was in mid-step.

"Maddy?! Where are you, sweetheart, I can't see you." I asked frantically as I bent down on my knees to feel around for them in the dark.

"I got fashight." She said. I heard the distinct click of a button being pushed and suddenly, a soft, eerie glow illuminated Maddy's sweet and innocent face.

She sat next to her brother at the bottom of a small hill. Tony's bronze hair was even more tousled than normal, most likely from the wind that had picked up. His tiny foot was laying out in front of him. In the dull light of the flashlight, I could tell that around his ankle, it was red. Not swollen, but just red.

"We saw a deer miss Bewwa!" Tony exclaimed excitedly, his brown eyes open wide.

"That's cool Tony, but what happened to your foot?" I asked, wincing as my knee popped when I stood up with Maddy.

"I feww." He said simply with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well that's not good. Why don't we go back to the bonfire so we can have your dad and grandpa look at it?" I suggested and wondered how I would get Tony back there. There was no way I was going to leave him alone again and just take Maddy with me. Although I could hardly walk myself; let alone with a shattered knee acting up and a child on my hip.

Oh well, I thought as I asked Tony if I could carry him.

He shrugged his shoulders as nonchalantly as before and wrapped his tiny arms around my neck as I moved him onto my hip where I could hold onto him. I instructed Maddy to grab onto my other arm, all the while telling her where to shine the flashlight to illuminate our path better. We couldn't afford anymore mishaps tonight as it was.

It took us about twenty minutes to get back to the ring of fire where Carlisle and Edward were sitting, waiting.

On purpose, I stepped on a twig and broke it so we could take their attention away from their conversation.

"Daddy!" Maddy exclaimed as his unique-colored bronze head shot up.

She ran off as fast as a two year old could until her father leaped out of his chair and met her halfway and swept her into a huge hug, lifting her into the air and swinging her around in the air wildly.

Tony commanded me to walk faster so he could be a part of the reunion between the family.

Edward's deep emerald eyes rested upon mine and a look of gratitude passed between us as he took Tony from my arms.

"Would you like me to greet you like that from now on?" Carlisle's voice asked from behind me and I turned around.

"Carlisle!" I squealed in an Alice like fashion. I had never been a very big hugger, but Carlisle, quite like the rest of the family was impossible not to want to hug, or show some sort of affection toward. Especially after what they did for me.

"How are you, Bella?" Carlisle asked after giving me a light squeeze.

"Well that depends. Do you want the truth, or what I've been telling everyone?" I asked, making sure that Edward was out of earshot before I elaborated.

"The truth, of course. What's going on Bella, are you okay?" He asked, worriedly placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Physically, I'm alright. Mentally, not so much."

"Care to enlighten me as to what's going on, or am I going to have to guess, because that could take hours."

"The lawyer called today. She said that Laurent and Irina had died last weekend."

"I had heard about that. I was wondering how you would take the news." He said sympathetically.

"I was never really that close to them, so it's really no thorn in my side."

"Then what is this darned over-grown weed?" Carlisle questioned, a look of confusion crossing his Angelic features.

"Angela said that when the will is read, everybody that is mentioned has to be there. Including-"

"Oh God."

I nodded weakly, casting my eyes to the ground. Suddenly, I was crushed into a hug. Carlisle's strong arms surrounded me, making me feel more safe than I had in a very long time.

"He's still in prison, so he can't show up alone. He'll have someone with him," said, attempting to reassure me of my safety for the next few weeks.

"I know, but still."

"Would you feel more comfortable If Emmett and Edward went with you?" He probed gently.

I nodded, thinking of how pathetic I must seem right now. It had been about four years since I was taken out of the home. I shouldn't be having this kind of reaction, should I?

"Emmett and Edward will go with you then." He nodded as he promised me what seemed like a giant security blanket. "And Bella?" He asked while lifting my chin so I would have to look him in the eye.

"Yes?" I asked, attempting to hold the intense gaze of his silver eyes.

"It'll be okay." He finished before giving me a kiss on the top of my head and walking away to most likely tell Edward of his new responsibility to me.

When Carlisle spoke these final words, I felt a nice, warming feeling spread over my body like a hot mug of soup when you're sick . It made me want to believe him. And I did. Partly.

**[EPOV]**

"Daddy!" I heard the voice of my angel shout from a couple yards behind Carlisle and I. I listened to the patter of tiny feet on the mushy ground for a few seconds before shooting up from my spot on the lawn chair next to my father to grab my daughter into a hug.

As I was swinging Maddy around in the air, I could hear Tony demanding to walk faster so

he could see me, but the name of the person he was ordering around really shocked me. Bella.

Fantastic.

She brought Tony to me and my green eyes met her startling brown ones and I attempted to thank her without even opening my mouth.

Carlisle pulled her aside for what was most likely a greeting because he hadn't seen her yet tonight, and I tried to keep my eyes and ears off their private conversation. Due to the look of both of their faces, it didn't seem like it was a pleasant topic to discuss.

"Daddy, guess what?" Tony gasped out of excitement as I dropped down into a lawn chair next to the dying fire.

"What Tony?" I asked, gingerly picking up his red foot. He grimaced in pain before a wide smile erupted onto his face as he began his story.

"I and sissy were over by unca Jaspew and he said dere was a deer close by, so when he wasn't lookin' we ran off to see da deer." Tony finished, explaining both how he left and why.

"That's really cool Tony, but you guys shouldn't have left without taking someone with you. We were all worried sick." I said, hoping that I wasn't being too harsh on them.

"We sorry daddy." Maddy said, bowing her head.

"It's okay Madster, just make sure you don't do it again."

By the time I hugged my kids consolingly, Carlisle had walked over to us, an interminable expression on his face.

"Maddy, Tony, why don't you go and thank miss Bella for coming to get you guys." I suggested after I realized that Carlisle wanted to address me alone.

They both nodded and Tony hopped off my knee, quickly limping over to Bella.

"What's up, dad?" I asked him once he sat down next to me.

"I need you to do something for me. Well, for Bella also."

"Okay,"

"Bella has to go to the reading of her adoptive parents will next week, so I need both you and Emmett to go with her."

I nodded, willing to do anything for the woman that had found my children. "Sure, but why does she need Emmett and I to go with her?"

"Just don't ask. It gets complicated and very personal. If Bella feels like telling you, then she will." He said sternly as if I didn't understand.

I really did, though. After Tanya was killed, it seemed like everywhere I went, people knew the story. Most likely from all the news coverage on the ordeal, but it didn't give people a right to be so rude about it. The man that committed the crime was away, rotting in prison for murder and kidnapping. It was proven that I did not do it.

It was proven that I did not murder my fiancée for cheating on me, and then kidnap my one and only daughter.

**Well, whose sick of the not telling? Hopefully not sick enough to not review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Do I own Twilight? Nope. Do you want evidence of that? Look on the books cover. Does it say Silently Screaming? Nope. Now do I own Twilight?**

**Summary: Bella Swan's past affects everything in her daily life. Edward keeps his true emotions hidden for the sake of his two kids. When these two meet at Edward's sister's bonfire, can they unravel many years of fear and guilt, for each other, or will it be a wasted effort that tears them both down further? **

**Author's Note: Hello again, and welcome to the sixth installment of From the Deepest Pits of Hades. Thank you all for reviewing the last chapter and for all of the compliments. This chapter was a lot harder to write, because it brought up a lot of memories that I had pushed down from the surface. I wanted to thank my beta/ soul mate for being so amazing. Go Lady Draco Violet! Anyway, on with the story!**

**[BPOV] **

After everyone had been called back from searching for Maddy and Tony, Edward had decided that there had been enough excitement for the night, so after exchanging good byes, he left with the kids, dead asleep in their daddy's arms.

Before he left, he looked at me like he had wanted to give me a hug, although that could just be because I found his kids. For some strange reason, though, _I_ wanted him to give me a hug.

The people that hadn't left yet had decided to let the fire die out and headed back to the apartment. Aside from wanting more association, Emmett still had to be informed of his new responsibility.

"What do you mean that sick bastard is out?!" roared Emmett from his seat on the couch next to Rosalie.

"He's not out out, but out with heavy supervision, and only for the will reading," Alice said from Jasper's lap.

"He can't get anything that Laurent and Irina left him, can he?" Esme asked, a worried, maternal look plastered onto her beautiful face.

"He can, but there is a tax on the things he receives." Jasper was studying to become a paralegal, so he was stuck answering any and all of the questions we had.

"They receive money in jail?" Esme asked, seeming truly shocked.

"They can. The people that visit them can give them money, or sometimes if they cooperate with police officers if they have any questions, they'll get money." Jasper said.

"I don't care about that. Bella, if he so much as even looks at you, I'll rip his eyes out," Emmett growled, his eyes narrowing.

For a second, I thought I saw a flash of agreement in Carlisle's eyes, but when he blinked, it was gone.

"Well, that's a nice sentiment, Emmett," I yawned. "I'm going to hop into bed, so I'll talk to all of you later." I went around the room, giving out hugs, trying to control the tears that wanted to be let out so damn badly.

When I got to Esme, she stood up from her place on the couch, wrapped me into her arms, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

She whispered, "Your mother and father would be so proud of you right now, Bella."

I almost lost it at that.

Esme was my mother when I didn't have one. There was an extremely compassionate nature to her that made people gravitate to her, like bees to a beehive. She was the epitome of a great mom, although not having any biological children herself. She was caring, kind, and so loving. It was impossible to not love her like your own mother.

I was originally supposed to go to Carlisle's and Esme after my parents died. Carlisle was just a young man doing his residency in a hospital that worked very closely with the Phoenix Police Department, which my dad was a deputy on. They became good friends over a short period of time, but then moved away. When I was born, my parents always told me about Carlisle and Esme and that I would go to them should something happen to my parents. When my parents' deaths happened, we couldn't make contact with them, because they never wrote anything down, or didn't tell me their last names.

After they died, I went into the foster system for a year, perhaps seeing twenty different "families" before going to Laurent and Irina. Between the twenty families to look after me until my eighteenth birthday, I had really only had three to truly care about me as a person and not just a check in the mail every month. Two of those, though, I was taken away from, because my standards of living were not up with the rest of the world's. Laurent and Irina were no different than the families that saw me as a way to add to their fortune.

And James, you can't forget James.

No, I could not forget James, not matter how much I wanted, tried, and failed to forget him, he was always there, glaring me in the face with his icy blue eyes.

His fingers ran down my scars and through my hair, his touch pulling everywhere, leaving marks that I would never be able to erase, and not just on the surface.

_There I lay, quivering and naked, trembling, tremors ran through my bloodied body. The tile of the bathroom floor __l__ay beneath my chin, making my pain even more unbearable. _

"_Get up," He commanded, kicking me in the ribs, making me cough up even more blood. _

_I didn't move __quickly__ enough for his taste, so he knelt down, pressing a knee into my back and __pulled__ me up by my hair. _

"_You piece of shit. You're a dirty whore. Get in the shower before they get home. I swear on your suicidal mother's grave that I'll kill you and that new little friend, Alice, if you tell anyone, do her hear me whore?"_

_He pressed the blade of the knife against my breast as he waited for an answer. I whimpered and nodded my head as far as possible, dreading anything to happen to Alice. _

_He released my hair in which he is holding me up against the door with, and the pressure of the blade was taken off my chest. _

"_Get in the shower and clean yourself off. Now." _

_As I slipped into the shower, the warm water hit my body, both soothing and irritating my open wounds, washing the blood and dirt away. _

_Tears ran down my cheeks and I felt as dirty as he said I am._

As I opened my eyes, I realize that the tears I'm remembering are real. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I begin to take in my appearance as a whole, instead of looking at the tiny details of every little imperfection.

Instead of starting down a path that could end me up in a really bad place, I think of every individual that has helped me heal.

The person that I really owe my life to is Emmett. If he hadn't have walked in on it, I may still be there, despite of my age, being raped and abused almost every night. Being waken up and dragged out of bed just to be used as a play thing for James.

Emmett, I owe my life to him.

Then of course, there were Carlisle and Esme, who in my book, were equal. They welcomed me into their home with a lot of band-aids and open arms. They stopped the bleeding, but could not take away the pain.

Sure, I had begun to see myself differently than I had in that place. How could I not with all of the love that was shown to me in the family? Especially from Esme.

Esme had spent two years in an abusive relationship before she met Carlisle, so she knew what it felt like. She knew what to say, what not to say, what to do, what to reassure me of, and so on. Since she had known my mother pretty well, she knew what she would say to get me through the incredibly difficult times. But most importantly, she treated me as her own daughter instead of the mangy, battered whore that I had come to think of myself as.

When I was five, I saw a picture of Carlisle around the house. With his light blond hair, pale skin, and perfect features, I thought he was God Almighty. When I was taken from Laurent and Irina's "care", he readily became a God to me and took on a position of a father at the first chance. When he found out what happened to my Charlie, he was quick to reassure me that nothing was my fault, and that the only thing that I had been doing wrong all these years, was blaming myself for his death. He was the loving father that I hadn't had since I was fifteen.

Alice was a Godsend. With all of the love that everyone was showing me and walking on eggshells around me, what I needed was someone that would treat me as if I hadn't changed at all. She didn't tread carefully, as if saying something too terrible would shatter me as if I was made of spun sugar. Quite the contrary, in a true Alice fashion, when she let her mind wander, she would say anything and everything that devious little brain thought of.

In the Cullen family, I got everything I had ever needed and wanted. They provided for all of my physical needs first (food, shelter, clothing, and water), and then they helped my emotions and mind to the best of their ability.

The one Cullen that I had never met until tonight, but frequently heard of though, had already affected me more than anyone in that family ever had. If you would think about it from my point of view, Edward and I had both climbed back from the deepest pits of hell in order to make something of ourselves. Edward, a doctor, and me, an actual person instead of a lifeless zombie. None of the other Cullens could sympathize with me there.

I would be the first to admit that Edward Cullen was gorgeous. He had uniquely colored, bronze hair, like a shiny penny, or a third place Olympic medal. His jaw was defined and seemed to be chiseled from marble. I would swear that the angle of it was a perfect right angle. His green eyes were like the deepest and purest emeralds the world had ever seen, and the scruff that was lightly scattered about that jaw line was enough to make my insides melt. He was gorgeous enough to be a Greek God.

His personality, though, had been the complete opposite of his looks. He came off as rude, impatient, ungrateful, and in need of a serious attitude adjustment on the phone. In person though, I still had to think about the Edward that I had met tonight, because he had blown all of my presumptions away.

That Edward was kind, impatient, and grateful. He was a doctor, so I knew he was smart. He had been through hell, because of the track marks on his arms, so I would think he's experienced and persevering and responsible now. When I came down the hill with Tony and Maddy in tow, a blind man could see the look of gratitude and love for his children on his face.

There was something different about Edward. I wanted to hug him before he left. I wanted to have an actual conversation with him about his likes and dislikes without my temper getting in the way. I wanted to hear about him from _him_ and not his family members.

I guess with this opportunity coming up in the next week, I could get to know the real him.

**[EPOV]**

I needed to call and talk to Bella Swan. I needed to call and make sure she was okay.

**So this chapter was short, but with my schedule, that was all the time I could afford. Again, let's thank Lady Draco Violet for the beta job, and for being such a cool chick. I hoped you liked it. Review!**


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